I have decided....

i'm making my 2nd consultation with a new surgeon to discuss my tummy tuck...i met with the surgeon who did my breast reduction in 2000 this past january when i made it below 199 (was always my original goal) and did not get a good vibe from him or his office so i shelved my plans indefinitely....
then this summer i decided when i got firmly into the 170s i would see another surgeon that an acquaintance used and that i have heard good things about...
well i'm still in the 170s now - i'd say i'm firmly here lol....my goal was to be under 160 by the end of this year but it is just not happening....i'm running, i'm lifting, i'm doing well in all areas but i'm not getting out for the 170s since May when i got out of the 180s....i know i have more weight to lose but am wondering if i'm "stuck" physically and mentally due to my "tummy"????
this morning i decided that I am going to make the appt for the consultation and go from there....my hubby supports me and whatever decision i choose although he is worried about surgery, he knows that this is something i have wanted for a very long time....
looking forward to hearing back from the surgeon's office about setting up my appt just to see where i'm at....

Plans for December...

I shuffled around my workout schedule a bit when I realized that today was the first of december and that the friggin year is almost over and that christmas is only 24 days away...
Anyway in December I am going to:
FITNESS: Complete the warrior dash this Saturday - dont give a shit about the time, I just want to finish
Continue with my 1/2 training with two 30-45 min runs and one "long" run each week
Hold off on starting stage 2 of nrolfw until the 26th so Ii can actually enjoy it and not feel extra stress about being short on time with the holiday hullabalu.
Go to spin 4 of the 5 thurs in December.
SLEEP: I would love to say i will get to bed by 1130 but with the crunch of shopping and decorating and wrapping, i'm bumping my bedtime to NO LATER THAN 12 for at least 6.5hrs of sleep a night.
FOOD: Continue with zig zag cals this month.
WATER: Drink 100+ oz everyday even the damn weekends.

Measurements from JC tonight...

                      bust                 waist                 abdomen          hips               wt
9/29/11    41.25                33.5                   42.5                   42               176.4
4/7/11      43                       35                       44                   43.75            182.6
2/4/11      43                      36                        45                   45                   190.4 
12/2/10   43.5                  38.75                 47.75              46.75           204.4
6/24/10   46.5                   40.75                50.25                48.75         217.6
5/8/08     49                       43                        53.5                  51.75         237.4
total inches lost - 6.5 and 6.2lbs since 4/7/11
BUT i was amazed to see that i have lost 7.75 inches from my bust, 9.5 inches from my waist, 11 inches from my abdomen and 9.75 inches from my hips, along with 77.4lbs since may 2008.....

my "problem" area of my pooch/abdomen has gone down more than i ever imagined...it's still there but i just can't believe how much smaller it is....i'm thinking i'll probably still need the tummy tuck in the end but right now i have hope that maybe i wont where i never had that before.....

Getting to the Best ME...

here is the link to my new pinterest motivation board....

http://pinterest.com/bluiz13/getting-to-the-best-me/

New ticker collage....

so i tried to make a new picture ticker of MY pictures from start to now like the virtual model pic i previously did but the pictures just are toooo tiny to see in my ticker so i'm posting it to my blog because i have worked really hard on it for the last hour instead of doing work lol.....

What a difference a year makes....

so we went to maine last july for our annual family vacation...i was into my 3rd year of my journey and had lost about 37lbs since i started in january 2008 so i was about 217lbs when my family there saw me last in person....since i was in maine last july i have lost just over 43lbs more LOL - almost 80lbs total since i started in 2008 and almost 90lbs from my highest in 2005....anyway i was looking back at some pics of our trip last year (i also went to my 20 yr class reunion) and holy shiiiiittttt do i look different....so here are a few pics to compare.....PS - i feel amazing and can not wait to shock them when they see me in person cause pictures do not do justice to what i have accomplished over the last year lol....

here is the new summer dress i bought in june 2011 - 177ish


here i am last july at my class reunion - 217ish


here is our family pic from father's day weekend 2011 - 177ish


here is a family pic from last july at fort knox - 217ish

How hard is this really????

okay so everyone has tried at one point in their life to lose some weight right???

i know i have...many many many times since as far back as high school even...

BUT i have never lost more than 56.4, which i did when i was on jenny craig over 13 months from september 2005 to october 2006 by eating their foods and exercising daily...

after i had my daughter in sept 2007 i gave myself 3 months of post partum whatever and then in january 2008 i RECOMMITTED myself to getting healthy - for real this time....

i wouldnt say i went on a diet per say but more of an "okay it's time to change how i do things"...i set up goals for the new year that included getting to 199 by 12/31/08....

i didnt make it that first year but i did lose and keep off just over 23lbs....when i didnt reach my goal of 199 and the new year rolled around i didnt give up, i just readjusted my goal to reach 199 by 5/09...

well guess what? i didnt reach it then either LOL....BUT i was still losing weight just more slowly than i liked at the time...i was active in biggest loser competitions with some local friends and that kept me motivated and on track....i readjusted my goal of 199 again to 12/31/09...

when 2010 rolled around i had only lost 7lbs in 2009 BUT I WAS STILL DOING THIS...i was down about 30lbs and i was making eating healthy and working out a PART of my life...i was working towards my goal of getting to 199 no matter what - 199 was not my final goal weight, i just wanted to be under 200 before i moved onto any other goals......

i had been using the loseit app on my iphone since fall 2009 but did not find it encouraging or actually even helpful...i had to enter soooo many of the things i ate and it got annoying....i did a search for calorie counting apps and found MFP....i started using the MFP app in february 2010 and then became active in the online community starting in june 2010....

when i say using this app and finding this community have made ALL the difference in the world to my progress I AM NOT LYING....the proof is in the pudding....

in febuary 2010, when i started using MFP i weighed 222.6lbs...in february 2011, right around my 1 yr anniversary, i weighed 190.4...i had lost 32.2lbs...

i reached 199 at the end of december 2010 a full 2 years after my initial goal date but the difference this time is that i hadnt given up.....

i currently weigh 175lbs and have a bit more to go to reach my goal of 140-150lbs....BUT right now i am relishing in being the smallest i have ever been in my entire adult life...none of my friends from florida, where i moved in 1996 or even my husband have ever seen me below 190ish...

i wear a size 12 and can probably move to a 10 soon, i can run for 3 miles straight without having to have a bear chase me - i'm even signing up for my 2nd half marathon for february 2012 with the goal of running the entire 13.1 miles, i drink 12 or more cups of water a day and have cut back on my diet soda intake although i do still have one or two when i want, i eat balance nutritional foods that fill me up but also indulge with chinese takeout once a week with my hubby.....

the difference THIS time is that it is EASY...it really, truly, honestly is......when you do the work and YES there is work to this, it's not hard.....

simple math folks: calories in versus calories out.....if you eat crap, you'll feel like crap and look like crap.....if you eat well and move your ass you will feel amazing....

start slow like i did....make changes you can live with....add water or exercise to your daily life slowly.....i think the difference THIS time is that i'm not on a diet... i am doing things i can live with for the rest of my life...

do i miss the burger king drive thru for the sausage, egg and cheese croissant, large hash brown and diet coke i would get 3-4 mornings a week AFTER eating my breakfast from home in the car on the way to burger king? GAWD NO....i was like a crackhead with my greasy breakfast but i couldnt control myself....at that point in my life i was addicted to that kinda food and that WAS EVEN WHEN i was committed to making the new me...

but something happened....i'm not even really sure what it was but i guess i realized i was better than that and here i am today - 88lbs less than my heaviest weight in 2005 and 78.8lbs down from when i started this final journey in january 2008...

i will never ever go back to where i was....this time it truly is for life...

so back to my original question - HOW HARD IS THIS REALLY?????

IT'S NOT...

you just have to want it and do the work to get it....

so do the work and get happy with your life people, i am :)

Realization this weekend that rolled into today...

as of this past saturday, from my highest weight ever of 263lbs, i have lost 85.2lbs....holy shit....that might as well be a 100....when i'm done i'll have lost almost 120, but for right now i have lost 85.2lbs.....really???? seriously???

even if i never lose another pound i have soooo much to be happy about, to celebrate, to be proud of.....i have had several people recently friend me due to my large amount of weight lost but i honestly did not realize how great it truly was until i saw the 85lbs on my screen this weekend after my most recent weigh in....i know i seek out people who have lost lots of weight as inspiration so why wouldnt i be an inspiration to others?? duh????? i guess i am lol..

now i feel like for the first time ever i can actually say i have done amazing things....

i have lost 85.2lbs....i dont need to add that i still have more to go or that it has taken me over 3 years to do it...i have lost 85.2lbs....

i can run for 3 miles straight...i dont need to add that i'm working on my pace and speed.....

i drink over 14cups of water most days.....i still drink diet soda when i want it and the occasional glass of wine when needed ;)

i eat 3 balanced meals and at least 2 snacks a day, sometimes 3 depending on how late we eat dinner and/or when i finish my nighttime workout....and that includes take out chinese on thursdays with a meal that "costs" me about 1000 cals to enjoy BUT i work my ass off that day to make the room for it in my daily food diary...

i work out 4-6 days a week depending on my schedule but dont live in the gym and i think i have finally found the right balance of weights and cardio to keep my weight loss moving and my body tightening up....

let me rephrase that...i continue to do amazing things because none of the things i have changed in my life are things i can not continue to do for the rest of my life....for the first time i have made a lifestyle change not just been on a diet and THAT MY FRIENDS is the difference...

on jan 1st 2008 i set out to change my life but making healthier food choices and moving my ass....and all the way up until today june 27th 2011 i can say i am happy with each and every choice....i wouldnt have changed a thing.....i'm not even gonna add that of course i would love to be at my goal right now but in the end what difference does it make when i get there, i'm gonna get there, i might as well take as long as my body needs so it can be rid of those pesky last few pounds for good...

the fact that i found this website and the amazing community to share this journey with has been the icing on the cake....good thing i'm not a sweets freak because that statement might have sent me looking for a snack ;)

thank you to my friends here on MFP that have encouraged me and inspired me every day....you are an amazing group of people and i am forever grateful to you...

Old versus New....today was a GOOD day....

me in size 24 jean shorts i used to wear all the time....i'm standing in one leg lol...i think i need to make a miniskirt out of those :)


me in new skinny size 10 bermuda jean shorts from ny&co



new 19.95 sundress from ny&co....i bought a large but i could have bought the medium..the medium was just a tad too short :)

Huge shopping spree today...

well i did it....i finally cleaned out my closet....the women's 20s, 18s, 16s and 14s i have been wearing or should i say swimming in have officially been replaced with..........drumroll please.............12s and 14s from ALL REGULAR STORES.........no women's departments shopped in today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i shopped at ny&company, ann taylor loft, macy's, jcpenneys and kohls today...

i bought 3 pair of cotton capris, 3 pair of denim capris, 4 skorts (2denim, 1 khaki, 1 RED), 2 pairs of cotton dress shorts, 7 short sleeve size L tshirts (dressier), a size 16 tankini bather and a L coverup, 3 pairs of L workout pants, 4 new XL (i like them roomier) workout tshirts....i tried on 3 very pretty dresses but just didnt feel perfect in them so i passed for now...

BUT the best part of my entire day besides my new full closet is that i now KNOW that no matter what i need clothes for: a dressy function, work, play, workout, casual - i can walk into ANY STORE on ANY CORNER and buy something....there will be a size for me....i no longer have to go to the women's department or special plus size stores....i have not been able to do this since middle school??? i called my mom tonight and asked her what size i was in high school and she said, 18-20???? i wasnt really sure and then i remembered the jeans i have from fashion bug still that i was just recently able to get into that are 20s...the are very very very straight legged with nooooo give/room so they might actually be smaller than a 20 but the label says 20 on it.....i have never in all my memory been a 12 or a 14????? i absolutely feel great....

here a few pics of my closet LOL...i'll add some more later of me in some of the outfits as i put them on...i'll take pics in the mirror each morning until i cycle thru the new loot.....

Final Goal Reward!!!!!

I have said a few times already that when I reach my goal weight I am going to consider having a tummy tuck to get the body that I feel I deserve...BUT besides the surgery I really haven't had a "FINAL GOAL REWARD" planned out.....not in my head, not on paper, not at all really....obviously, I'm going to need some new clothes lol but I don't see that as a reward so much as a necessity so I don't get arrested for indecent exposure :) so I'll get around to target or jcpenney or wherever I buy regular every day clothes....BUT this will not be my reward....

I came up with my reward this afternoon while I was on my lunch walk. I was walking around The Town of Palm Beach, specifically down Worth Avenue, the hoity toity well to do area like Beverly Hills' Rodeo Drive....as I walked by the storefronts, I realized that when I get to my goal 140-150lbs, I'll be able to wear the clothes in these stores...I'm sure it will be the "largest" size they sell at an 8 or a 10 LOL but they will have it in stock....those who know me, know I am not a "palm beach" girl...I'm not hoity or fussy, I'm simple and plain and I like it that way...BUT there were some beautiful clothes in these windows and I just never in a million years imagined that I could actually walk into a store like that and buy something off the rack and have it fit, especially since it would probably cost me like a grand for a sweater or a dress or a top LOL...back to my goal reward LOL....

I have decided that when I reach my goal weight, I will treat myself to an ENTIRE day of pampering. First I will start off on a shopping adventure either on Worth Ave or the Gardens Mall (at a fancy high end store) . I want to be treated like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, not when they knew she was a hooker, but when Edward brought her back and made them wait on her, LOL.

I want a pretty woman day.....I want to sit on white upholstered chairs and have shop girls bring me tea and all the clothes that they can possibly find that would "suit" me and my new body and then I want to try them all on and KNOW that some of them will fit and some of them will look amazing and I will only buy ONE perfect outfit, but I will have the knowledge that I CAN WEAR THIS BEAUTIFUL STUFF and I deserve to...

Then after I am tired from shopping I want to head to a full service spa for a massage and a facial and a pedicure and a manicure and hair styling...

Then I want to dress myself in the ONE PERFECT outfit from my day and have a BIG reveal with my friends and family, ala Biggest Loser, and SHOW off the me that I finally know I can be and have worked so hard to be.....

Yup, I'm gonna start planning this day....I have to figure out who I want to go shopping with me; who I want to go to the spa with me; who I want to invite to the big party to show off the new me....I'm going to start making a plan because I WILL GET THERE....I don't know exactly when but I WILL GET THERE!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm excited just thinking about this amazing day in the future and that is what is going to help push me thru the hard times.....This image of me, MEEEEEE, being ME.....

New Theme Song for My Journey going forward....

i just downloaded this song last week from itunes after hearing it on the radio a few times...i thought it had a catchy upbeat tune that would be good for cardio....well today it came up in my playlist and i actually replayed it like 3-4 times so i could really HEAR the words.....they moved me so much so that i almost started crying on my walk.....silly really but please check it out.....

FIREWORK by Katy Perry

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag
Drifting throught the wind
Wanting to start again

Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin
Like a house of cards
One blow from caving in

Do you ever feel already buried deep
Six feet under scream
But no one seems to hear a thing

Do you know that there's still a chance for you
Cause there's a spark in you

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July

Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gunna leave 'em fallin' down-own-own

You don't have to feel like a waste of space
You're original, cannot be replaced
If you only knew what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbow

Maybe you're reason why all the doors are closed
So you can open one that leads you to the perfect road
Like a lightning bolt, your heart will blow
And when it's time, you'll know

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July

Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on slet your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gunna leave 'em fallin' down-own-own

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
It's always been inside of you, you, you
And now it's time to let it through

Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on slet your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gunna leave 'em goin "Oh, oh, oh!"

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon

Getting & Staying Under 200

so i got under 200 on christmas day and had stayed there with a weight of 198.6 to end 2010.....UNTIL this past monday when i went back up to 205....i forgot to take my water pill on sunday and can retain anywhere from 4-6lbs in literally a DAY....it was discouraging but i pushed thru and really worked hard this week on mixing up my exercise (took 2 spin classes and a friend and i did our own spin class one night too), taking lunch time walks in addition to my night time scheduled exercise routine, sticking to my calories including eating some/most of my exercise calories and drinking drinking drinking my water......well last night i jumped on the scale 12 hrs early from my actual weigh in today and it was at 197.4 and i was very very happy....this morning i jumped on again for my "official" weigh in and was 196.4....i was sooooo happy to be back where i was 2 weeks ago when i TOOK my sick weight and logged it....then i jumped on one more time to send a pic to my sister and it said 196.2....i'm taking that weight and have put the scale away until next saturday's weigh in....I WILL NOT BE JUMPING ON THE SCALE THIS WEEK AT ALL........i know if i do the right things by working out and eating the right mix of foods and drinking my water, i can have ANOTHER loss next saturday at my weigh in......right now my goal is 189 by St. Patty's Day as i'm part of a thread challenge and that is our time frame....then the next big goal is 4th of July and i want to be at 173...then onto my 39th Bday (10/13) to be at 157.....next goal is New Year's 2012 to be under 150....then finally Valentine's 2012 i want to be working on Maintaining 145

i have my consultation with the plastic surgeon that did my breast reduction surgery in 2000 on monday to discuss where i should be in order to "consider" a tummy tuck.....this is a reward i am giving myself now that i am down below 200....i'm excited and nervous to hear what he has to say...honestly i never thought my tummy would go down in size but i am actually starting to notice it is getting smaller....i still think i'll need the tuck but we'll see what he says.....

New Year & Goals adjusted again....

so i realized that i have all these monthly goals and then each month on the 2nd saturday when i either make the goal, pass the goal or fall short of the goal i end up adjusting my numbers going forward every month until my final goal weight of 145.....

it's getting rather annoying....i'm looking back to when i really started tracking my goals and i have lost anywhere between 0 and 6 lbs between monthly weighins.....i have set my goal at losing 1 lb a week for a total of 4-5lbs a month depending on the number of weeks between the 2nd saturdays of each month....

someone suggested making "broader" goals to help with the fluctuation from month to month....sooooo, i have again adjusted my goals....i still have the monthly goals set up in my spreadsheet but am really trying to HIT these:

St. Patty's Day GOAL: 189 (64.8lbs lost)

4th of July GOAL: 173 (80.8lbs lost)

39th Bday (10/13) GOAL: 157 (96.8lbs lost)

New Year's 2012 GOAL: Under 150 (103.8lbs lost)

Valentine's 2012 GOAL: working on Maintaining 140-150 (103.8-113.8lbs lost)

not sure why i feel the need to constantly be adjusting and looking at future goals but i'm a numbers tracker so i like to see things in spreadsheets and if they just don't "add" up for me visually i have to "fix" them.....hope these more broad goals help me stay the course to being very close to completing this journey by this time next year....