Something I'm proud of.....

12/1 - today i ate my snacks and lunch as packed with no additional snacking at work.

12/2 - today i completed a 3 mile walk even though i ran so short on time i couldnt make it to the gym to work out due to errands after work - instead i did a walk from the jenny craig parking lot to the mall, 3 loops around the interior of the mall - THRU THE FOOD COURT 3 TIMES and back to my car at the jenny craig lot. when i got to my car i was only at 2.8 miles so i walked around the lot twice so i could complete 3 miles for today.....only stopped in the mall to pee once and to drop off and pick up my watch at the battery replacement place....

12/3 - today even though i was faced with a very stressful LENGTHY conversation with someone that i dont enjoy talking with anything about especially my kids and/or my life and choices i choose to come to work, not stop for crap food, eat my morning snack of oatmeal and 1/2 a granny smith apple and then my jenny craig lunch and a salad and this afternoon i will eat the other 1/2 of my apple and jenny craig pumpkin spice muffins and then i will go home and have chicken for dinner with my family....it's nice that i am changing the way i deal with stress.....eating well does not have to be a punishment - it actually is a wonderful reward that gets paid at the ENDDDDDDDD of the "day"....

12/4 - today i did 3 workouts - walked while the kids were at gymnastics, completed group step at the gym even though i am soooo uncoordinated and hated every minute of it, jumped on the treadmill to get more miles in only to find out that they were still going to hold the group power class that i absolutely love even though it wasn't on the schedule for saturday's at 11 until after the holidays...i felt so awesome - burned 940 calories with my 3 workouts...

12/5 - today even though i was at the mall at lunch time while doing some christmas shopping i chose a subway sandwich for my lunch...

12/6 - today even though my 3yr old daughter ended up coming to work with me for the day due to vomitting in the early morning hours and was not quick to go back to sleep - hence i was really really tired, i still went for a 3.25 mile walk in the 55degree weather pushing her in the stroller after work....

12/7 - today even though i dinner planned out i ended up taking the kids to denny's for kids eat free so my husband could work (he works from home) uninterupted with kid noise and such...i reviewed the menu (which sucked by the way) and looked online at the nutritional info on their site and MFP too...made a good choice and had the chicken cranberry salad and was very happy with my choice...no french fries, no greasy food, no junk....ohhhhhhhhhh, trust me i was soooo craving a cheesy mess or a burger or a buffalo chix sand or wings BUT i didn't, i made a conscious decision to eat a good meal with the calories i had available to me and i worked out twice today as well....

12/8 - today i did a two mile round trip walk from work to the grocery store to pick up a few things for bunco instead of driving there....

12/9 - today i planned out my meal choice for my mom's group dinner by researching the restaurant's dinner menu online; i chose grilled mahimahi, steamed rice and steamed veggies and entered it into my food diary right then; then i went to the gym right after work & burned 382 calories which put me right where i needed to be if i ordered what i planned on; at the restaurant i ordered what i planned plus a cup of tomato bisque soup - 185 calories and a cappuccino - 150 calories for present time. ALL 5 OTHER GIRLS ORDERED SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thai pizza, chicken pot pie (a whole friggin pie, i am not kidding), orange peel chicken, Mediterranean sandwich with fries, chinese chicken w/noodles...when i told them what i was ordering they were like, "wellI'M NOT BEING GOOD, i'm definitely getting whatever i want and damned the calories pretty much...i was VERY PROUD OF MYSELF for making a "good choice" but not having to "suffer" because of it....it was delicious and just what i wanted....no sacrifice....

12/10 - today i went for a 2.6 mile walk in the time i had after dropping my son off at school until his holiday concert....i knew i wouldnt have time later to do my walk so i used my time wisely.....

12/11- today even though i knew i was going to be WAY over on my calories i still choice to "squeeze" in a 45 min walk on the treadmill even though time was tight with all we had planned and it didnt even make a dent in my deficit for the day.....i still make working out a priority because that is why/how i am changing my life....making better choices when i can and sticking to it even when i don't.....

12/12 - today we went out to lunch and i didnt have a "healthy option" BUT i still logged the foods i ate...tomorrow is a new day...

12/13 - today i did a 3.33 mile walk during my "lunch" break even though with the wind blowing here in "SUNNY" florida it was like 50 degrees with the WIND whipping off the water....i got my "burn" on and stayed within my calories for the day once my exercise was recorded....

12/14 - today i made the choice to have a subway sandwich while my kids had happy meals at the mall....

12/15 - today i...oh what the heck am i proud of today??? well i guess i'm proud that i did group power and completed 2 miles on the treadmill at the gym to try to make up for the overage of baked BBQ chips i ate earlier in the day...was not able to balance out the overage but i gave it my best effort and sometimes that is all you can do....

12/16 - today i busted my ass to burn 300 calories on my lunch walk and instead i burned over 400 cals....yup i'm proud...

12/17 - today at my work luncheon i chose tomato soup, turkey sandwich and fruit salad...not a french fry in site.....oh and i played wii EA sports with my son for over an hour on my "rest" day and did a great 350+ calorie burn....

12/18 - today i walked in the rain with an umbrella while my kids were at gymnastics....i could have said screw it, i'll fit something in later but i didn't...got a nice 300+ calorie burn too...

12/19 - today i ate well for the morning and the afternoon even without a plan for the day.....not so happy about my night time eating when we got home but i wrote it down anyway and am only a little over my calories for the day....just water for the rest of the night....no heaven on a stick for me tonight :-)

12/20 - today even though i feel like shit AGAIN....i ate well all day and after the kids were in bed i did the leslie sansone walking 2 mile dvd for the first time and then level1 of the jillian michaels shred dvd....got a nice 300 calorie burn in just under an hour..

12/21 - today i am proud to say i weigh less than 200lbs....jumped on the scale when i got home and officially have entered onederland - 198.4lbs - never to see 200 again....

12/22 - today i'm proud to say that i have lost 25lbs since my last visit to my dr (march 2010) - when i jumped on the scale today for my sick visit the nurse started on the 150 notch and built up instead of the 200 notch....it felt absolutely amazing......i was grinning from ear to ear even though i have bronchitis and strep throat LOL

12/23 - today i had chinese takeout but chose to eat light as i was not feeling very well and didnt have the extra exercise calories to make up for the heavy meal....

12/24 - today i chose to eat a light lunch so i could enjoy christmas eve dinner with my family at my in laws house...had small serving of veggies, potato, ham and skipped the biscuits...

12/25 - today i ate a deliciously cooked christmas dinner and had one plate....just a small scoop of everything and i was satisfied....i made a light pie from hungry girl to bring to my cousin's house and i had probably 1/2 of a serving of that but marked the full serving anyway just to be safe....

12/26 - today i took the "day off" from life to recoup with my sick kids....

12/27 - today i did 3 sessions of netflix exercise workouts, a 5 mile walk and ran around the playground with the kids for 20 mins....burned over 800 calories....

12/28 - today i walked 5 miles while i waited for my car to be serviced instead of just sitting in the waiting room...

12/29 - today i stayed on course even though i had a very stressful day (rear ended the vehicle in front of me coming off I95...

12/30 - today i tried a different chinese takeout dish but still choose healthy - not fried or battered or heavy sauced...

12/31 - today i pushed myself to finish my 75 mile move my ass challenge for december.....very proud of myself...

Compliments & Getting Closer to the "End".......

well i'm actually starting to get used to accepting compliments.....i have never been good at it but with all the attention i have been getting lately with how much i have lost and mostly in the recent last few weeks it has become really noticable i guess.....my mom was telling me yesterday that at my aunt's house the night before (i was not there) they were all talking about how great i looked at thanksgiving and since then and how much i had lost....my mother and father in law are telling me to slow down and that they didnt think i was big before....i had to dig out my 260lb picture to show my mother in law just where i started at my heaviest....she was like well i didnt see you that way, i just saw your beautiful hair and your beautiful face and your kindness on the inside...i was like well that's nice but i had a huge fat ass right in front of you too LOL....and that beautiful face was round and full like a melon.....

anyway, i'm learning to accept the compliments and comments on the positive side and just state that i have lost "X" lbs since i started and not tagging on that i still need to lose "X" lbs by the time i'm done....i am celebrating with them my successes and recognizing that every pound i lose i am losing forever....i am officially into the 190s this entire week and am not going back above 200 ever again....i'm going to continue on in this process i seem to have "figured out" - eat right, exercise, log my foods, drink my water.... AND GET down into the 180s and then the 170s and then the 160s and then the 150s and then the 140s....we'll see what happens when i get closer...i honestly didnt see a light at the end of the tunnel but now i am starting to....i think getting over the 1/2 way hump has helped....i am now on the 2nd half of my journey and it's all downhill, in a good way, from here...

ONEDERLAND so nice to see you....

so i decided to jump on the scale last night when i came home from work cause i have been so diligent with food and exercise since my weigh in this past saturday when i hit 200.....

so last night, first the scale said 199.6 and i was like yeah baby under 200 let's check one more time and i jumped off and on again and it said 198.4 and i was like woooohoooooo let's just make sure so of course i jumped off and on like 10 more times and it stayed at 198.4 so i am officially now under 200 lbs and will be adjusting my monthly goals going forward accordingly into the new year until i have the rest of this weight off...i am officially 1lb over my halfway mark to 145...55.4 lbs gone since january 2008....feels pretty damn awesome and the best is yet to come....

Onederland....sooooo close I can taste it...

So i have been trying to get to 199 since i started my journey on 1/1/08...it was my goal that first year to lose 54.8lbs....a lofty goal but i was fresh off having my second child and really going gang busters...or so i thought...anyway, i didnt make 199 by 12/31/08 but i did lose 23 or so lbs - ending the year at about 231lbs...

i continued on and in 2009 lost 7 more lbs even though my goal was to still get to 199 sometime that year.....i ended 2009 at around 224lbs....

i still continued on into 2010 and have to date lost 24lbs more....I AM GOING TO MAKE 199 before 12/31/10.....i currently weigh 200 and I WILL be 199 by this saturday...I AM GOING TO MAKE THIS GOAL I HAVE HAD FOR ALMOST 3 YEARS.....

Then when 2011 starts i will firmly be in onederland and will continue to go down down down.....and i can visit the plastic surgeon who did my breast reduction in 2000 to discuss the tummy tuck i have always wanted even before having 2 kids....

i was looking back at my weight records and here are some numbers that show how far i have come....

my first adult weight memory is 210lbs in april 2000 when i met my husband...

one year later i was up to 245lbs after being in a blissfully happy relationship...

i immediately went to WW and lost 55lbs in 15 months ending up at 190.5lbs by oct 2002..this is the lowest i have any record of in my adult life....

when i got married in nov 2003 i was around 214lbs.....

when i delivered my son in sept 2004 i was 263 lbs....

after seeing pictures of myself at my son's 1st birthday party in sept 2005 weighing 260lbs i immediately joined Jenny Craig with a friend and got down to 206.6 by oct 2006....

in jan 2007 right before i found out i was preggers with my daughter i weighed 211.4lbs and 6wks post partum in oct 2007 i weighed 247.2lbs....

of course this brings me back to the start of my journey on 1/1/08 at 253.8lbs....

up down up down up down from 2000-2007 officially stopped on 1/1/08....i am only going to continue going down down down now that i am on this journey to change my life for good......i'm not on a diet - i'm here to change my life so that i am a healthy mom for my kids and as i keep losing weight with this new healthy lifestyle i'm cherishing the smaller numbers and the smaller me....

New goals....adjustments are part of life...

so i moved my monthly goal weigh in to the 2nd saturday of the month because every first saturday i was missing my mark even though the saturday before i was right on track...seems even my "non" period affects my body so i made the adjustment...had a goal of 199 for December 11th and was right there the week before at 201 BUT then something happened and i was back up to 204...i have now readjusted my goal for 199 by December 25th and then each 2nd saturday going forward accordingly....

here are my goals for the upcoming months....looking for a loss of only 1lb a week...i can do this and i will.....

12/25/10 - 199 - finally below 200...make an appt to see the plastic surgeon who did my breast reduction in 2000 to discuss what i should do and where i should be to consider getting the tummy tuck i have always wanted....not necessarily doing the surgery anytime soon, i have just always wanted to see how much of the work i need to complete before doing it....this has been my ULTIMATE goal since i started this journey in january 2008.....

1/8/11 - 197 - firmly in the 100s - still going down baby

2/12/11 - 192 - inching my way closer to the 180s....

3/12/11 - 188 - out of the 190s and safely into the 180s.....my kids have never seen me this small that they would remember...i got down to 187??? when i was on Jenny Craig 2 yrs after having my son but didnt stay there very long and he was under 2 so he doesnt remember that mom...

4/9/10 - 184 - securing my spot as the skiniest i have been since my "adult" life began...i made it to the high 180s when i did jenny craig and/or WW sometime in the last 10 years but i obviously didnt stay there very long...this will be the absolute smallest my husband has ever seen me...

5/14/11 - 179 - yup bye bye 180s - hello - 170s....truly the smallest i have been since early 20s late teens????

6/11/11 - 175 - wow i'm actually gonna be in the mid 170s by the time summer rolls around!!!! i will also officially be only OVERWEIGHT..no longer OBESE according to the bmi calculator...

7/9/11 - 171 - low 170s for our trip to maine???? my sister hasnt seen me that small in forever....

8/13/11 - 166 - down into the 160s by the time my son heads back to school to start 1st grade...

9/10/11 - 162 - firmly set in the low 160s

10/8/11 - 158 - happy early birthday to me - you are now in the 150s - wooohooo girl.....almost 100lbs lost since you started this journey...

11/12/11 - 154 - a week or so after my 8th wedding aniversary and i'll weigh 60lbs less than my wedding day....that will feel amazing...officially 99.87lbs GONE forever...

12/10/11 - 150 - yeah i think i might have been in middle school when i weighed this?? maybe early high school....

1/14/12 - 145 - so i had my jaw wired shut when i was a junior in high school as part of my orthodontia....i lost 30+/-lbs in 10wks because of it...i think i ended up at 145???? the memory is fuzzy but that weight sticks in my head...regardless i only got there cause of circumstance and not hard work....sooooo this time when i start the new year in 2012 it will be ALL ME.....this would put me right at the high end of the "HEALTHY" BMI range....i would be out of the obese and overweight categories forever....

2/11/12 - 140-150 - working on maintenance - i believe my ultimate goal is to have a 10 pound range of weight that i am comfortable at...i will continue to workout and eat right and work very hard toward maintaining my HEALTHY new life...

Love New Days - don't mind "Bad Ones" either cause they make you think...

several people have recently complimented me and called me inspiring because of the changes i have made in my life....

funny thing is, yesterday i had an "epic failure" with eating....BUT today i know that i'll start the day fresh with 1470 calories in the jar and then add more when i work out later depending on what i do today....

i'm not killing myself feeling guilty, i'm not angry at myslef for eating too much or the wrong things...i even wrote down all that i could find cals for and then did a BIG estimation on my chinese takeout....

when i closed my day it said if i ate like that everyday, i would be 20lbs heavier in 5 weeks....

first i was stunned and then angry to see that "number" and then resigned to the fact that it was just ONE DAY....

it is not who i am now...it is not who i will ever be again....
i am a different person now and if i have to eat like shit every once in a while to make me "remember" what i'm doing and where i'm tring to get, then sooo bit it....

TODAY is a new day...no trying to make up for yesterday....it is gone...today is a new start....